Sit Tight

Not a day goes by that God doesn’t whisper into my ear saying, “Be still”. The word, “still”, by definition goes against every fiber of my being. Until the last 5 years or so, I haven’t understood what that would even look like. However, God never fails to present these situations that in the past would cause me to squirm, fidget, or even run. Given that I am such a socially awkward person you can imagine how many moments I have in one day!

On any given day I am prone to have multiple situations I would prefer to run from. Somewhere in my life I developed a coping mechanism for each awkward moment. In silent moments, I always had to interject something. In tense moments, I always had to make a joke. In teary moments, I would emotionally separate and probably still make a joke. In moments of disagreement or situations requiring confrontation I would run. In moments of strife, I would jump in and “fix”.

In the last few years though, God has been working with me on this and just really asking me to “sit tight” and feel whatever is presenting itself at the moment – asking me to just let there be silence, let there be tension or tears or whatever may be. Naturally being a “fixer”, it was hard to resign myself to just being present but not coming up with solutions. The idea of just being surrendered to what comes and to be sensitive to the idea that it may be just what the Great Doctor ordered; no matter how uncomfortable it feels to me.

It has itself playing out when I visit my hospice patients – just listening to what they are saying and what they aren’t saying – and staying with it regardless of how uncomfortable it is. It plays itself out in my friendships, just sitting tight and praying for friends or family when they hurt my feelings or gossip or whatever the circumstance may be. This was the point I used to run. Now I feel God asking me to just stay and wait it out. How hard this is! I find myself asking the Lord how long I have to wait. How many times do I have to hear a friend gossip before I can be done? **That was a lesson I learned years ago from a best friend – I loved hearing her juicy gossip about others, but was somehow blindsided when she gossiped about me** Now when I spot a gossip I am the first to turn my head and disengage – let alone pursue friendship. “Lord, you really want me to be a sitting duck just to be obedient to you?”

God is funny that way, though. Somehow He brings people and situations in and uses them to refine us. I can complain all day about others and how they’ve wronged me, hurt my feelings, or gossiped or cheated me -- but it isn’t about others. It’s about me. It’s about what I’m going to do with it. How am I going to handle it? Am I going to sit tight and trust God? And no matter which way I turn, I feel God gently asking me if I’m going to sit tight and trust in Him; to be still and know…that He is God.

I’m convinced it’s Satan voice I hear when the words “run” or “give up” nowadays. I won’t say that God will never tell us to steer clear of someone or some situation – I know better than that. But many situations in life are just that – temporary situations that God is working on behind the scenes. We just have to be willing to sit in the uncomfortable hot seat as long as it takes. It isn’t always pretty, but honestly, the view from that seat is raw and real and most definitely perspective changing.

How To Win Friends And Influence People

     My step-son serves in the Army. He puts his life on the line constantly, he and his family make sacrifices that many families/people would not be willing to make. Why? He fights for our freedom. He fights for our rights. One of those rights is freedom of speech. But is it me or does it seem like freedom of speech doesn't really exist anymore? Many times this year I have begun organizing thoughts to put here and then stopped because I didn't want to deal with the fallout of the hateful people who can't respectfully disagree. So often Christians, like myself, are judged with such extreme and skewed measures. Take for instance the fallout from the Chick-fil-A drama. All the guy did was state his opinion. Somehow his opinion was warped into hatred. Differing opinions does not equal hatred. And all the "It Gets Better" Anti-gay bullying stuff really becomes extremely ironic in this light. They don't want to BE bullied, but they feel free TO bully if you don't agree with them. There are extremes in every religion/group that truly HATE. Chick-fil-A's giving record is being likened to giving to hate-groups. Christians are not called to hate. They are called to love all. That doesn't mean we have to agree with all, it means we have to love all regardless. I really don't feel that others are fighting for equality. It seems they emerged from the proverbial "closets" just looking for another group to bully back into the closet in their place. Bullying into silence.

     So many people have been telling how Chick-fil-A should have just kept their mouths shut so as not to rock the boat, not to lose business. I understand that our opinions are not always best shared. But at some point in life, we need to stand on and sometimes publicly own, the principles that we value. We all need moral absolutes (even if they differ) and to not just be moved by pop culture. Whether athiest, Christian, gay or straight, purple or blue  -- we must value some things enough to stand up for them. Of course, the extremist beliefs that endanger others' lives are not the values I am speaking of, so don't go all terrorist ninja on me. And whether or not we agree with others, we must respect their opinions. We don't have to like them but we must try to peacefully agree to disagree.

     I understand that our nation isn't a "Christian nation" as our Commander-In-Chief says. I understand that we are a melting pot of beliefs and value systems. Here is what I don't understand...why can't we all play nice???

     I find it refreshing when someone has passion enough to stand 100% on their value system and not back down. Even if I don't agree with them. We aren't going to win people over to our way of thinking by bullying and degrading them. We may silence them, but we won't win them. Is silence a victory?

I myself am guilty of giving in to silence recently, so as not to rock the boat. But we lose part of ourselves when we can't be honest. Homosexuals know this to the core. When we are silenced, it is because we have been made to feel like something about us is shameful. So, how is it that some who have already experienced this oppression are so quick to want to pass it on? If we want our opinions to be valued, we must first place equal value on others' opinions. At some point you would think we would all put our "big-girl panties" on and realize we aren't always going to agree and that it's ok. We aren't all going to start from the exact same foundation and end at the exact same conclusion. But since we are all stuck in the sandbox together, we might as well play nice and not throw sand in each others' eyes! Either that or we should stop calling America "The Land Of The Free" and my step-son should be home with his wife and kids every single night and stop laboring in vain for our "freedom".